TAKING A BREAK

LAUNCHING MY IG APP WAS BECOMING A PROBLEM ... DARE I SAY AN ADDICTION. IT WAS A BAD HABIT THAT I STARTED WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING. EVERY BORED MOMENT I HAD WAS SPENT UNCONSCIOUSLY OPENING THE APP AND QUICKLY SCROLLING THROUGH MY FEED, LOOKING AT THE STORIES, AND THEN GOING BACK TO MY FEED, ETC., ETC., REPEAT, REPEAT. WE ALL DO IT, DON'T WE? WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE IS THAT I NOTICED IT WAS TAKING UP ALL OF MY "SPARE" TIME. AND BY SPARE TIME I MEAN ANY MOMENT MY BRAIN WAS FREE TO WANDER I WOULD START THE SCROLLING HABIT.   JASON WAS DOING IT TOO AND BOTH OF US NOTICED THAT WE DIDN'T LIKE HOW WE WERE FEELING. I SPECIFICALLY NOTICED HOW IT STARTED TO MAKE ME LESS PATIENT WITH MY KIDS, WHICH WAS THE BIGGEST WAKE UP CALL. I PRIDE MYSELF ON BEING A SUPER DEVOTED MOTHER AND HATED THE FEELING THAT MY KIDS WERE HAVING TO ASK TWICE FOR JASON OR I TO GET THEIR ATTENTION BECAUSE WE WERE BEING DISTRACTED BY OUR PHONES. I STARTED TO FEEL LIKE MY MIND WAS NOT ALERT; I WAS STARTING TO FEEL "FOGGY". I ATTRIBUTE THIS TO THE FACT THAT OUR BRAINS CAN ONLY PROCESS A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF INFORMATION AT ANY GIVEN TIME. AND EVEN THOUGH IG IS MOSTLY PHOTOS, IT STILL COUNTS AS INFORMATION. HAVING MY EYES FOCUS ON SO MANY IMAGES IN A 24 HOUR SPAN WAS ALSO MAKING ME FEEL MORE DISCONNECTED THAN CONNECTED AND I FOUND MYSELF NOT TRULY LIVING IN THE PRESENT.

SO ON DECEMBER 15TH JASON AND I TOOK AN OATH NOT TO LAUNCH OUR APP FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. WE ALSO WANTED TO REALLY CONNECT WITH EACH OTHER AND WITH OUR KIDS DURING THE HOLIDAYS. THE FIRST FEW DAYS WERE ROUGH I'M NOT GOING TO LIE.  I WOULD LAUNCH MY APP OUT OF SHEER HABIT AND THEN QUICKLY NOTICED WHAT I WAS DOING. IT WAS CRAZY BECAUSE I REALIZED HOW MUCH I WAS DOING IT, COMPLETELY ON A SUBCONSCIOUS LEVEL, WITHOUT EVEN THINKING. OVER THE COURSE OF AN ENTIRE 4 WEEKS THE HABIT OF LAUNCHING MY APP WITHOUT THINKING BEGAN TO DIMINISH. THERE WERE CERTAIN INSTANCES WHEN I FELT LIKE I WAS MISSING OUT BUT THOSE INSTANCES WERE ACTUALLY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. I MISSED THE BIRTH OF 2 FRIEND'S BABIES, BUT ONCE I REALIZED THAT I TEXTED THEM BOTH AN APOLOGY AND HAD A REAL PERSONAL (NON IG) COMMUNICATION WITH THEM, WHICH FELT REALLY NICE.

IN THE SAME BREATH, I'VE ALSO CONSIDERED THE POSITIVES OF INSTAGRAM AS IT IS BRILLIANT IN A WAY TO KEEP CONNECTED. IT IS A GREAT PLATFORM IN SO MANY WAYS. MAYBE SO GREAT THAT IT REALLY SUCKED ME IN. I HAVE MADE CONNECTIONS WITH WOMEN I OTHERWISE WOULDN'T HAVE. I HAVE MADE MANY SHOPPING PURCHASES THAT I MAY NOT HAVE OTHERWISE SEEN.   AND MOST OF ALL I TAKE MAJOR STOCK IN THE FACT THAT IT HAS HELPED ME GROW OUR OWN BUSINESS. FOR THESE REASONS, I DO LOVE INSTAGRAM.

SO HOW DID I TRANSITION AFTER MY IG FAST? I REINTRODUCED INSTAGRAM IN A HEALTHY WAY; ULTIMATELY LIVING MORE CONSCIOUSLY IN ALL PARTS OF LIFE, BUT ESPECIALLY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA. MY GOAL IS TO ONLY POST/LAUNCH IG WHEN IT FEELS ENTIRELY AUTHENTIC AND MEANINGFUL. I LOVE IG FOR SO MANY REASONS, BUT DON'T WANT THE UNCONSCIOUS HABIT TO CREEP BACK IN. I HOPE TO FIND A GOOD BALANCE; ONE THAT FEELS "RIGHT" FOR ME. I'VE MET SOME PRETTY WONDERFUL PEOPLE THROUGH IG THAT TRULY INSPIRE ME AND FOR THAT I AM SO GRATEFUL. I GUESS I REALLY WON'T NEED TO KEEP YOU POSTED ON MY PROGRESS SINCE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE FOR YOURSELF.